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"This seems ridiculous, but normal." Brilliant!

Was there any paint left on her car after the band finished keying it?

That's just right-on! A few years ago, I was in an 8-piece band that got booked to play a wedding near Sears Point, (now Infineon Raceway), in the North Bay near Sonoma, CA. After driving a mile or so off the highway and up a dirt road, I came to a tent set up on top of a hill out in the middle of nowhere. "Must be the place," I thought, so I started dragging my gear in and began to set up in a corner of the temporary dance floor--the rest of the "floor" was dirt with occasional clumps of grass and the odd boulder-sized dirt clod. "You can't set up there," said the wedding coordinator. "That's for the guests." Looking around, and not seeing any spot suitable for setting up an 8-piece band, I asked, "Where are we supposed to set up?" "Over there in the corner," replied the WC. "I'll get those tables and wine barrels moved for you." So there we were, in the dirt, and I asked, "Do you suppose we could use a few of those dance-floor panels? We're sinking into the dirt here." Replied the WC, "Nobody told me you needed a stage...!" "So where else would you put a band?," I thought, but didn't say out loud. Well, we got through the gig, got paid (not nearly enough, but I hadn't booked the gig), and when I got home, it took me several hours to clean the dirt off of all my stuff. Makes me wonder why I spend good money on decent equipment when I have to put it through that kind of stuff.